Uwe Rosler’s Grandad Mk XXXV

9,003 thoughts on “Uwe Rosler’s Grandad Mk XXXV

  1. Looking at the stats, if Fellaini starts the game instead of Herrera, a distinct possibility, then the average rag will be 3.5″ taller and 7lb heavier than the average City player, this statistic goes through all areas of the teams.

    It seems that City have the 2nd worse % record for defending set pieces (fortunately we don’t concede many) and the rags have the 3rd best % record for scoring from attacking set pieces. That would seem to follow the physical stats above!

    So we will not be amazed when Mourinho lines his team up with 3x CH’s, 2x DMF’s 2x FB’s [in all, 7 defensive players], with the congestion in front of their goal like Piccadilly Circus at rush hour, when we have possession.

    When they gain possession they will bang it forward for their speed merchants to race onto, if a one on one is a possibility they will try to score, otherwise they will wait until they sense the close proximity of a City player and then tumble to the ground like shot dogs, holding various parts of their anatomy, whilst writhing in agony in anticipation of a free kick from which they have the best chance of scoring a goal.
    Tomorrow City owe it to football to prove that the beautiful game can and will be won by beautiful football and you don’t need a bunch of cynical giants to prevail.

    Rags 1-1 City



  2. Calgary Blue: How lucky was that Grin


    Indeed Calgers, a lucky break old son! LOL

    You won’t have fooled herself mind, it will cost you Wink



  3. alphonso: If you are at the B’m’th game the PSP’s will be sur moi

    Sadly not old chum. Herself and I have decided to take a cottage in a N. Yorkshire village (Egton) over Christmas and will be gone for a week. Relatives are house sitting so I fully expect my malt collection to take a massive hammering in my absence Really Angry

    On the up side, however, we aren’t too far from Newcastle which allows me the opportunity to attend the game at St James on the 27th. How lucky was that Grin


  4. Calgary Blue: Alph – BTW gald you made it home in one piece. The roads are quite poor at the mo and looking at the forecast, it’s gonna be taters on Sunday.


    Yes, I’m glad it isn’t the home derby Calgers, we have around 6″ snow here in the Glen, the main roads are passable but no one is venturing out unless it is essential. Two late, and not all that convenient, commitments are requiring me to come back south before Christmas.

    I had an important meeting scheduled in Windermere (the town not the pond) this morning, but cancelled yesterday so that I could be sure to get home. It is now re-arranged for the morning of Saturday 16th so we are coming down Friday afternoon, staying over in B&B at Moffatt, doing the meeting and coming on down to the Etihad for the Spuds match. We will be shooting off to the north straight after the final whistle and staying at a cheap dive in Motherwell, which will enable us to get back to Argyll for 11 am duties Big Smile

    I am backdown to Shropshire Thursday 21st for meetings on Friday morning and afternoon, then Saturday morning with a woman who arrives back from 5 weeks in Italy on 21st and leaves for 5 weeks in NZ on Boxing Day. She has inherited a very significant wedge or readies which is currently sitting in her current account making her feel nervous. She would like to “sort it all out ” before she goes away again. Being the sort of guy that I am, I am putting myself out massively for her and, as luck will have it, will be on my way back north Saturday afternoon, coinciding with the Bournemouth game. Cool

    That’s dedication to one’s clients needs for you Calgers. It’s what makes Britain grate – erh I mean great. Confused

    If you are at the B’m’th game the PSP’s will be sur moi Yes



  5. Looking ahead to Sunday in what will be one of the most contested derbies in a while, there’s a lot of BS to cut through for any meaningful data. Analysts are keen to point out how the rags have the best defence having conceded only 9 times. What they fail to mention is that we have conceded only 10 times so WTF? Also we have Maureen whining that Belgiums most dirty player is injured and wont be available. Really? What’s the betting he’s there on Sunday? And everybody seems to be of the opinion that Kompany is injured. Again, really? Pep decided not to play him on Wed ‘cos he wasn’t at his best but I’d be very surprised if he’s not there on Sunday. Certainly, I haven’t heard he’s out but the pundits all seem to think he is – and therefore they’re going for a rags win – especially because they were so fantastic against the Arse. They seem to have overlooked how fortunate they were last week when De Gea made 14 saves to keep them ahead and also how crap their back line was. How very surprising! No comments on how vulnerable or toothless they will be ‘cos Pogba’s out. Old habits die hard I guess.

    Alph – BTW gald you made it home in one piece. The roads are quite poor at the mo and looking at the forecast, it’s gonna be taters on Sunday.


  6. Calgary Blue: Luxury! We used to DREAM of nasty journeys. Now we had it tough …………


    Alph LOL

    Also just found this:
    Wonder if he wishes he was a regular in La Liga with Girona these days!

    Belgium international could re-join Man City in January after dream moves turns to nightmare

    Belgium international Jason Denayer could be on his way back to Manchester City in January.

    The versatile defender pushed for a move to Galatasaray over the summer however, his dream move has turned into something of a nightmare.

    Denayer was ripped to shreds by Ricardo Quaresma in the Istanbul Derby last weekend and has found himself on the periphery of the Galatasaray squad in recent weeks.



  7. alphonso: A nasty journey but I’ve had worse

    Luxury! We used to DREAM of nasty journeys. Now we had it tough ………… Grin


  8. A nasty journey but I’ve had worse!

    Alphonso’s Predicted Derby Starting Line-up
    ……….Rags – (3-4-3): City (4-3-3)

    ………………..De Gea
    …….Jones… Smalling….Rojo,
    …Lingard….. Lukaku…..Martial


    …….Silva… Fernie… DeBruyne
    Delph, Otamendi, Kompany, Walker

    I don’t know enough or care enough to do a rags bench.
    I think that City will have a bench consisting of:
    Claudio, Mangala, Danilo, Bernardo, Gundogan, Jesus, Diaz

    [Yaya had 90 minutes Wednesday and looked well OTT but may be the ‘safer’ option than picking a lad. All three of the youngsters did OK, Foden and Tosin played 90 minutes, Diaz did not but showed well and may be favourite to get the bench and perhaps some minutes.]

    There will be no space in the centre of the park for us to get through, we will have most of the possession, they will hit hard and fast on the break. Maureen will first ensure he does not lose and put a finger up to the critics – it could work for him. Our biggest problem could be cards and down to 10 men, and perhaps losing patience if we go behind!

    Final result – a nail-biting, indigestion enhancing 1-1

    Caveat “Alphonsus raro rectam” applies.
    (that should provide some scope for the peasants amongst us) Big Smile



  9. Alphonso: I am now looking forward to a journey north in what is likely to be horrendous conditions!

    Travel safely boychik. You are not alone in the unseasonal conditions. Winter arrived on the Eastern Med yesterday with some intent. This normally comprises extremely high winds and occasional thunder storms. One of my dog walking chums told me that he had woken this morning to the gift of a new dining table on his seventh floor balcony. Apparently it had blown in from an apartment of the sixteenth floor of the neighboring block. Time to put the flip flops away for the season methinks.

    I remain



  10. There were positives.
    We kept the important players for the important game fit and rested.
    Several fringe players who were much in need of game time got it.
    Foden and Diaz looked as though they are going to be top-notch players
    Adarabioyo wasn’t far behind them assessment wise.
    Mangala looks like he will be a better than adequate cover this season when alongside one of the regular, established players.
    I am now looking forward to a journey north in what is likely to be horrendous conditions!




  11. Sigh!

    To make 8 changes is one thing. To change the formation and ask players including a 17 year old to play out of position and expect immediate cohesion is another. This was one innovative approach too far for Pep and we got what we deserved.

    Problem 1. 2 adequate CBs unused to playing together and without obvious leadership instincts
    Problem 2. Your main DMF deployed in a 3 man defence
    Problem 3. 1 RWB who is also adequate at best
    Problem 4. Foden’s deployment
    Problem 5. A defensive screen of Yaya and GunDog sauntering around like a Flanagan and Allan tribute act.
    Problem 6. Bernardo’s inability to control the tempo of a game from a heavily marked wide right position.
    Problem 7. All the above combining to allow the opponents complete control to carry the ball 30-40 yards through our midfield unchallenged and at will.

    Defeat is incredibly deflating after our recent run but there were some positives, namely the glimpses of potential from Foden who clearly has a great football brain and now needs to build the brawn to match. Diaz is going to be an astonishing prospect and Tosin will also shine when playing alongside Stones for a dozen games.

    From this experience it seems clear how reliant we are on our established system with Ferners screening a solid back 4, KDB and Silva controlling the tempo of the game and Sane and Sterling’s pace and threat.I wonder whether the outcome would have been different if Pep had simply set up the selected XI but in a more conventional 4-1-4-1. I suspect that we would have stifled their opportunities much earlier and may have got away with a 1-1er.

    I remain



  12. So
    Walker, Kompany, Otomendi, Delph
    Sterling, KDB, Silva, Sane

    Bravo, Gundog, Jesus, Mangala, Bernardo S, Yaya (or Foden), Diaz,

    for Old Toilet. Should be good enough if we recover some sort of form.

    p.s. Time to get Pablo Maffeo back.


  13. Well, that’s it. The unbeaten spell gone and maybe not a bad thing, although maybe not this week.
    Wholesale changes – of the starters how many could be considered First XI first choices? Ederson, Fernandinho, Sane, possibly Jesus?
    I personally wouldn’t blame Morris for the 2nd goal, he had a long way to come and the odds were always on the guy with the ball. He was left in the cacky by his walkabout defenders.
    Tosh looked much more comfortable when we reverted to a back 4 and put in a good shift in the 2nd half.
    Mangala, who it’s becoming fashionable to slate without even thinking about it, had quite a reasonable game. Certainly compared with Danny Boy who was shite all evening, Fernando, who had an off day in a role he clearly hates and Yaya, who flitted around, more moth than behemoth.
    I would have thought the game was made for Gundog to make his mark but, no, his passing was far from perfect, he made some very bad decisions, failed to shoot and tripped up a few times trying to beat a second or third man when one and a lay-off would have done.
    Sane had a quiet night until late on when he made a couple of tasty runs in the box. Delph support’s Sane really well, seemed he was missing his IL buddy.
    Foden, I thought looked very nervous and out of position in a quasi wingback role.He looked better late on, after Diaz came on, clearly he’s used to playing with him.
    Jesus huffed and puffed but had clearly got his Predators on the wrong feet.
    In contrast, Diaz gave a lovely cameo and, were I Pep, I’ve give him a bench seat on Sunday.
    Which brings me to the cunteen million dollar question – I have watched avidly this season for Bernardo Silva to show me something that Berko’s old adversary, J.Navas Esq. couldn’t or didn’t do. Will someone tell me what Bernie supplies that J.Navas didn’t (apart from an inability to defend)? Where’s the great quantum leap that was supposed to come with Monaco man?


  14. Toure is providing zero cover for the back 4.
    Danilo goes missing a lot.
    Foden looks very nervous.


  15. Their left winger is making an absolute mug of Tosh. Two classic examples of ball-watching in 2 minutes.

    Oh Fuck!!!!! Again.


  16. I think I ‘ll just sit this week out and let Alph take my name in vain again Cool


  17. Alphonso: I agree Valers

    I was just about to correct your post below by suggesting it was me and not Valers that you have quoted. However, given the obvious error in my awareness of the match day squad it was definitely Valers.

    I remain

    Not Valers


  18. berkozboy: I think that Delph could also do with the break in favour of Zinchenko


    I agree Valers but he wasn’t shown in the squad details for those flying out. I thought it was maybe because it could be dangerous for him due to his ethnicity and the areas the match will be played in?

    Just me speculating?



  19. Alphonso: .Bravo
    Bernardo, Foden, Gundog, Diaz

    I think that Delph could also do with the break in favour of Zinchenko as the former will certainly feature at the weekend. This may mean that only Vincent will play the two games allowing us to go into the derby with a mostly rested side. Stockport Ladies are likely to have 7 of their derby XI having played twice in 5 days.

    I remain



  20. I’d start the following and concentrate on resting the likes of Fernie, Otters, Walker, Silva and Kun. (KDB’s rest is enforced).

    Bernardo, Foden, Gundog, Diaz

    Ederson, Otamendi, Mangala, Walker, Silva, Aguero
    + youth player

    Plenty of scope for bench players to affect the game if it doesn’t go well. The likelihood is that the Donutz will not go hammer and tongs, they only need a draw regardless of the Napoli result.



  21. I rather like Mediawatch – especially as they seem as underwhelmed by Stanley Victor Collymore as I am Smile


    A team of no legends?

    Mediawatch has long been amused by Stan Collymore’s sustained antipathy towards Manchester City but with City boasting a 13-match winning streak in the Premier League, even Stan has to admit that they are pretty good.

    But watching Jamie Carragher say that David Silva is “alongside Thierry Henry, Dennis Bergkamp and Eric Cantona” as “one of the greatest we’ve ever had in the Premier League”, while Henry himself described him as “e best creative midfielder we’ve seen in this league”, has riled Stanley Victor. Thankfully he has an almost-daily column in the Daily Mirror for all the times he gets riled.

    ‘David Silva is a very good player – a special player, in fact.

    “But I’m struggling to buy into this notion he will be remembered as one of the Premier League’s all-time greats. He’s not in the same bracket as Dennis Bergkamp, Eric ¬Cantona, Thierry Henry or Alan Shearer. Not quite.
    ‘And I’d have Didier Drogba, John Terry and Frank Lampard ahead of him, too.’

    Well, it is just an opinion but Mediawatch is rather more impressed by Silva’s excellent record of an assist ever 3.26 Premier League games than Lampard’s decent record of an assist every six games. As well as by him being a far better footballer, of course.

    But Stan has his reasons…

    ‘All were dominant over several years and demanded your ¬attention, whereas Silva has shone at times but never on a consistent, three or four-year basis like the ¬others.’

    Pesky fact: No other footballer has record as many Premier League assists or created as many chances as Silva since he arrived in 2010. That’s over seven years ago. It sure sounds like he might have been consistent.

    ‘When Bergkamp was in his pomp at Arsenal he was central to everything they did. Henry scored great goals and did it with a swagger for the Gunners.

    ‘Cantona was the genius who brought it all together at a great Manchester United side, while Alan Shearer bludgeoned his way into that group with his sheer volume of goals.’

    Well it’s certainly true that central midfielder David Silva has not scored as many goals as those strikers, and on that basis he is definitely not worthy of being mentioned in the same breath.
    ‘As for the Chelsea trio, they won a trophy every year, and in some years more than one. Silva, on the other hand, goes almost quietly about his business. Don’t get me wrong, it’s very good business.’
    He has indeed gone ‘almost quietly about his business’ at City. And that ‘business’ has been winning five trophies in seven years. Which doesn’t sound too shabby to Mediawatch. And not a million miles short of Lampard’s 11 trophies in 13 years at Chelsea.

    Collymore is not finished yet. He has another man in his sights…

    ‘What about Sergio Aguero? He has been a phenomenal goalscorer and will go down in football folklore for the title-winning goal against QPR in 2012. But, like his team-mate, I still can’t quite put the Argentinian in the same bracket as those all-time greats.’

    Yes, because scoring 131 Premier League goals in 191 games simply cannot compare to Didier Drogba’s 104 goals in 254 games. How could it?

    ‘Silva and Aguero are two-time Premier League winners and deservedly so. Yet considering how much City have spent in recent years and the players at their disposal, two should be par for the course really.’

    ‘So what happened in the 2012-13, 2014-15, 2015-16 and 2016-17 seasons?’

    Well, since you ask, in 2012/13, Manchester City finished second behind Manchester United despite Aguero missing much of the season.

    Then in 2014/15, Manchester City finished second behind Chelsea even though Aguero won the Golden Boot with 26 goals while Silva had his best ever goalscoring season with 12 goals.

    In 2015/16, Manchester City were poor and finished fourth even though Aguero scored 24 goals and Silva notched 11 assists.

    Then in 2016/17, Manchester City finished third despite Aguero scoring a disappointing 20 goals.

    To summarise, Aguero has been the Premier League’s top scorer since he arrived in 2011, while Silva has been the Premier League’s leading creative midfielder since he arrived in 2010.

    But that’s just not good enough for our Stan.

    Just let it go, fella.
    Quote ends



  22. Khmer Bleu: But I have a question: an early goal would have opened all those sides up to the more typical cricket score, and is the fact that we didn’t get one a result of a slight loss of intensity in the opening period? Or were those teams just very well set up?

    A bit of both Khammers from my expert vantage position 2580 miles away.

    Teams have simply decamped in front of their third of the pitch and begin a sort of press as we approach it. The rest of the pitch is ours and there is very little pressure on us inside it. It makes things very difficult from the off. Aguero has no space to operate in and is seeing less of the ball and when he does it is normally with his back to goal and three defenders in his pants. Managers have simply identified that our threat comes from the six man charge led by KDB with runners on either side getting into loads of space behind defences with higher lines and have set up to mitigate this risk. For this reason the seemingly scuffy 2-1er has become the norm. The new threat that we pose is simply having more patience and determination to maintain our form and concentration longer than our opponents. We continue to dictate the pace and fluency of the game but will not be diverted from our methods. This requires even more application than the variant of breaking fast and sliding the perfect pass behind a retreating defence facing their own goal. We do not hoof speculative balls around. We do not lose possession and we do not stop until the end. We can be perfect in our execution and this requires our opponents to play at the same level for the same amount of time in order to stop us. It is a simple strategy but quite perfect as a response to the sides that turn up to thwart rather than challenge.

    I’m not sure that we will win at the weekend but I don’t think we’ll lose either. This result will suit us much more than them.

    I remain



  23. I didn’t catch any of the last 3 games live, but listened to the live commentary and watched highlights. Mightily impressive results I would say, which speak volumes about the team spirit and ultimate ability to break bus-parking teams down. But I have a question: an early goal would have opened all those sides up to the more typical cricket score, and is the fact that we didn’t get one a result of a slight loss of intensity in the opening period? Or were those teams just very well set up?

    In any case, I’m not sure we will prevail against such sides in every game. There will be a few draws. And if we come up against a team that can defend like Wham and attack like the Rags, we may lose.

    Fortunately, I don’t think that will happen next week. I’m not sure this group of Utd players can play with the discipline Mourinho normally demands. In fact, they were a shambles defensively against the Arse, and have de Gea to thank for the win. I think they will find it particularly hard to maintain concentration at home in the derby, with the crowd getting nervous, and without Pogba they are shorn of much of their attacking fluency. At the same time, we look very poor on set pieces, they are a big strong team, so I doubt we’ll keep a clean sheet.

    3-1 to City, I predict.



  24. berkozboy: Great tribute is given to all the sides that restrict us in this way but rarely to us for having the patience and discipline to sustain our style and effort until the final whistle. The stats may point to a downturn in our hit rate from the ‘effing prolific’ setting to ‘so-so’ but the table tells the most important story.

    Totally. Yesterday’s game was widely hailed as a potential walkover. In fact you could get equivalent odds on City winning 6-0 as WHam winning at all. They were in chaos, thrashed by Everton, a sprinkling of injuries and a new manager with the paint still drying on his office door. The stage was set for one of those combinations of binder tape, parcel string, sirens on the rocks, banana skins and industrial grade grease that would inevitably have reeled ‘the old City’ in like the laird does a late summer salmon.
    So, to kick-off when canny old Moysie grabs his baton and mounts the rostrum to deliver a version of of Wagner so extreme I thought I heard the Beswick Silver Prize Band (feat. Sylvia Farmer on cornet) playing a version of Götterdämmerung far away in the distance, i feared the worst.
    His pre-match team talk went something like “Give them the ball and they shall lose it “.
    But City’s modern heroes are made of sterner stuff – the football flowed and we eventually got our just desserts – as happened v Sotters, Hudsfud and Wolves (though not, in this case, in the way we imagined).
    I’m sure everyone saw the game, so no need for detailed observations. It is becoming increasingly obvious, week on week, that we could not have played POFTB if Joe was still between the sticks. Some quick passes from Morris today and some excellent wondrous long ones disguised as kick-outs. I feel for Joe, though. Never seen anyone’s career decline so fast and I can’t see him getting back in the WHam team at the expense of Adrian who had a very good game, any time soon.
    Mangala, though largely effective and hard working has hardly any pace and will struggle against a quick forward and if he plays next week Ibra could make a mug of him. Which, when you factor in Vinnie’s frailty, is why I think it imperative to buy, even at the inflated Xmas prices, a CB if the right one can be found. Alderweireld? My editor was at Uncle Rupe’s mansion last week for a meeting. During the intermission he talked to a guy who is a football analyst so famous his name escapes me. Anyhow, this sage opined that Spurs have made Kane their highest-paid player at 90 grand with a veto on anyone else getting more. So it’s hail and farewell to Broadway, Toby ‘Weird, Deli Ally and others any time soon.
    Lastly, re the Shagtartz Donutz game the two most obviously in need of a break are KDB and Walker. Kevin, in particular, looks like he’s playing from memory. I’be happy with both Berko’s teams.


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